Falling off the wagon…

It’s been a while. In fact, it’s almost exactly a month since my last post.

I’m sorry about the picture. It was the best one I could find, in a bit of a hurry. (It’s late and I want to sleep but I also really wanted to post this before I go to bed!)

What you’re about to read are just some of the thoughts that have been going round and round my head the past two and a bit weeks. I’ve literally only just found (or made) time to write them out.

Work has been busy. Life has been crazy. So not only have I neglected this blog but my fitness journey overall has taken a big hit, too.

I think it’s a deep psychological thing for me. It’s like having a dinner plate and the food just keeps on piling on. While it’s all good stuff, you just can’t eat it all (I’m talking metaphorically here, foodies) and get to a point where you just ask whoever’s serving to stop (I never do that in real life with actual food, of course haha!)

Anyway, that’s the point that I’d got to.

I’ve put so much energy into moving from one flat to another, keeping in touch with family and friends during this pandemic (and, even then, nowhere near as much I would like or as I feel I should be or with as many people as I’d like to) and my work (if you know me, you know that my work isn’t “work” – I love what I do and it’s a big part of me) that I then got to a point where I stopped everything else.

My workout regime’s been a bit off. Two weeks ago, a severe back pain I experienced just before Christmas came back. Thankfully, not with a vengeance. I was also able to use what I’ve learnt in physiotherapy to nip it in the bud/make it better. It’s definitely getting there but it also meant I had to slow down on workouts. So in that week, I only managed two. Last week, I did four.

Moving has also meant my cooking routine etc has all gone out of the window. All my stuff is in a different place. I’m sharing with someone so that has its impact in terms of the kitchen etc. That displacement and now a new environment is just taking a little time to properly adjust to.

I know these all sound like excuses but back pain, upheaval and busy life/work meant I just got to that point where the first thing to say no to on the metaphorical dinner plate was, ironically, nutrition.

I’ve been eating terrible foods. I’ve been eating terribly. Sugar, foods high in carbs, foods high in fat. No moderation. Bear in mind I’d got to a point where I was having these things before but definitely in moderation.

But, dear reader, it’s not all doom and gloom. In fact; my posting on this blog tonight is a sign in itself that I’m trying to get back on track. I’m aware of my self-negligence and now finding my way back to being better.

As I’ve said before, this blog for me isn’t self-gratuitous or self-congratulatory but very much about being able to hold myself accountable.

In fact, even just writing these words tonight has taken a weight off my shoulders. I’d felt such guilt about letting myself down. I’d felt such disgust at how I’d completely dropped all my good habits.

I was recently reminded of my human nature, though. You can’t always be ON IT. For all the highs, there will also be lows.

My fellow gym buddy Sam said to me over the weekend (not verbatim):

“Nim, it’s two weeks. You won’t have completely undone everything.”

That was good to hear. I also know he didn’t say it because he thought I needed to hear it – he genuinely meant it.

So, I’m now getting back on it. Hopefully, there’ll be more good progress news to report over the coming days and weeks.